Dukkha and Action

This is the fourth of six weeks looking at Dukkha from various angles. 

So for these six weeks we are looking at Dukkha, or some ways in which we make life hard for ourselves. Dukkha is that ‘second arrow’ – the first arrow is something that happens and the second arrow is what we add on top through our thinking. We are looking at some ways in which we make second arrows. A couple of weeks ago we looked at interpretation, how we make sense of what we observe, and how the interpretation may become more sophisticated with more attention. Last week we looked at expectations which is what we expect or want to happen. Expectations can be quite different from the reality – for instance, the anticipation of a difficult event may be quite different to how it goes in practice – and also some of our expectations can be unrealistic and this is a great source of dukkha.

Today we will look at how we act.

We’ve perhaps all been in a situation where we found ourselves saying something that we didn’t mean to say and that perhaps caused difficulties. We’d like to think that we are rational creatures and think it all through but actually we have to respond to things in the moment and often the choosing is not conscious. The interpretations and expectations are bound into it but in the space of an instant.

It is an aspect of mindfulness to be mindful in everyday life, not just for an hour on Mondays, and as part of that it is helpful to bring mindfulness to our actual actions – for instance, what we say, or where we put our time and energy. As an example, if we can be mindful while we are talking, we can listen to our words and our tone of voice, and we can consider how they are received. It can be very interesting (if sometimes uncomfortable) to try out mindfulness in this way. Also, it can be possible to find out an astonishing amount just by listening, drawing people out & occasionally asking an open question – and this can feed back into better interpretations and more realistic expectations.

Another aspect of acting is whether we are acting in a way that helps our goals or hinders them, perhaps for some short-term benefit. For instance if I’m trying to watch my weight and I choose the healthy food then that supports my goal but if I choose the chocolate cake then it hinders, but I get the pleasure of the chocolate cake.

We can see this as a matter of willpower but another perhaps more helpful way to look at it is around interpretation – it can be a matter of taking the goals seriously and being willing to take some short-term discomfort to progress them. Another way of putting this is in terms of prioritising the bigger picture over the smaller picture. We are all very good at this, I’m sure, for the overt things like getting our jobs done, but there can still be areas of our jobs or our lives where this is a challenge – places where we find ourselves procrastinating or putting things off.

Where is the dukkha in acting? Well, it can feel painful if we let the smaller picture stuff win – for instance, if we have that bit of chocolate cake, or if we relieve our feelings by saying something that isn’t helpful. If we can at least recognise what our bigger picture goals or aspirations are, and if we try at least to some extent to act in a way that supports them, there will be less dukkha.

Reflection

For the reflection, please can everyone think of a time when they acted in a ‘small picture’ way and another when they acted in a ‘big picture’ way. OK?

Closing the eyes, feeling the bum on the seat, the feet on the floor. Feeling that contact and solidity. Perhaps taking a couple of deep breaths and then letting the breath settle into an even rhythm. Tuning into the sensations of breathing. They are always there as an anchor if the thoughts get too scattered or go out of control.

Bringing to mind, as vividly as possible, a time when you acted in a ‘small picture’ rather than a ‘big picture’ way – for instance, by saying something that relieved your feelings but perhaps wasn’t helpful.

How does this feel physically?

How does it make you feel about yourself?

How does it make you feel in relation to the world at large?

[letting that dissolve, and coming back to the breath for a few moments]

Now bringing to mind, as vividly as possible, something you did recently where you were acting to improve the whole situation, in a ‘big picture’ way (for instance something kind or generous you did, no matter how small)

How does this feel physically?

How does it make you feel about yourself?

How does it make you feel in relation to the world at large?

<a little more time> Now letting the reflection dissolve, and coming into meditation.