Then Noble 8-fold Path: The Ideal of Human Communication: Right Speech

More on Perfect Vision and Perfect Emotion (right understanding / right resolve). Perfect Vision is a vision of reality - may come in a flash / momentary / evanescent. Can communicate it in images and concepts. Vision: wheel of life - mandala of the 5 Buddhas - path from one to the other. Vision needs to descend into every aspect of our lives & transform every aspect. Perfect emotion is this descent into our emotion life - sublimation of crude unrefined emotional energies into something more delicate, free from attachment, hatred, cruelty and full of positive emotions such as generosity, love, compassion, happiness, faith & devotion. 

Sammadhi - mantra - mudra: a realisation expressed in sound / expressed in gesture. 

Samyak Vaca - Perfect Speech

Significant that it has a whole limb to itself. Also related to the fourth of the five precepts. We have no choice but to speak so needs a place. Buddhist 3-fold classification into body, speech and mind. Speech has the same importance as body or mind. All our education knowledge etc comes from speech.

In Vajrayana, body speech and mind are associated with head centre, throat centre and heart centre. Throat centre is in between the head and heart centre. Also between intellect and emotions. It gives expression to both. Perfect speech manifests simultaneously perfect vision and perfect emotion. Represents the transformation of the principle of the communication by the first 2 limbs of the path.

What is perfect speech? 

In the sutras, described as speech that is truthful, affectionate, helpful, that promotes harmony / concord / unity. Wrong speech is untruthful, harsh, harmful, or promotes discord / disunity. 

Often truthfulness, affectionateness etc are regarded as independent qualities. But they really represent 4 different levels of speech, each deeper than the one preceeding - can talk of 4 different stages of communication. Will consider them in this way here. Gives some idea of the ideal of human communication & see how far short we usually fall.

Truthful speech

Doesn't just mean factual accuracy. Dr Johnson: "once the habit of untruthfulness begins, there is no knowing where it will end". He also recommends accuracy of narration - we generally pad, exaggerate, minimise, embroider...

Nigel: precise narration e.g. his life story - and different fro different audiences...

Important but not sufficient... truthfulness is also psychological & spiritual - attitude of honesty, sincerity - saying what we really think - saying what is really in our heart or mind. But do we really know what we think or feel? Most of us live in a state of chronic mental confusion / disorder / confusion. We regurgitate what we heard or read but without really understanding or knowing what we say.

So we must clarify our ideas: know what we think / don't think / feel / don't feel. Understand our motivations / drives / ideals - need to understand ourselves and know ourselves in the depths as well as the heights.  So speaking the truth is no easy matter. Most of us most of the time deal in what is not true - speak what is a lie - because we are not capable of speaking the truth in the fullest sense. 

If we ever are in a position to speak the truth, there is great relief. E.g. something weighing on our mind or heart - relief if can be told fully. Rarely or never happens.

Speaking the truth really means being ourselves - not in a conventional / party sense but in terms of giving expression to what we really and truly are and know that we are. Not spoken in a vacuum, which brings us to the second level:

honesty can backfire...

Ellen: psychic centres: body, speech, mind!

PJ: 4 speech precepts not being equal but in a sequency - deepening levels

Maisie: in order to be truthful to someone else need to know their truth...

Maisie: patients interpret what you said to suit their own world-view

Perfect speech is affectionate and loving

Not in the conventional way - rather speaking the truth in its fullness, in complete awareness of the person to whom we are speaking. Do we look at the people we speak to?

Here, love = awareness of the being of another person. Can't speak with love if we don't know them. - usually we see people in terms of our own emotional reactions to them. E.g. if people do what we like we say they are good / kind / helpful - we're not communicate with that person. We are communicating with our own mental projections. Particularly true about those near to us - rarely know one another. We know our own reactions to one another, but that's different. This is why there is so much misunderstanding between people / failure to communicate / disappointment - just a mutual communication between projections. Gets in the way of mutual knowledge / understanding / love.

But if we are able to speak in awareness and love with another person - we will know what they need (not what would be good for us but objectively for them) then we know what needs to be given. Brings us to:

Maisie: affectionate speech - don't ever tell people they are doing it wrong.

Nigel: if we really know the other person we will know what they need rather than what we think they ought to have

Perfect speech is useful

i.e. promoting the growth especially the spiritual growth of the person to whom we are speaking (not necessarily formally) - speaking in such a way that the people to whom we are speaking are raised in the scale of being / helped to grow rather than lowered. At least we can be positive and appreciative.

Story from an apocryphal gospel. Christ + disciples passing a dead dog in the street. Disciples didn't like it. Christ smiled and said: what beautiful teeth that dog has.

See the positive side of things, don't be over critical, destructive, don't harp on the negative. We can all be helpful & positive in this way. Even if we are able to give some sort of spiritual instruction (v few can) it is only helpful within this sort of atmosphere.

If we communicate in this sort of way - speaking the whole truth, with love & without projection or exploitation, we'll tend to forget ourselves. Brings us to:

Perfect speech promotes concord, harmony, unity, onenness

Not just a verbal agreement - a mutual helpfulness based on truthfulness based on awareness of each others needs leading to self transcendence - this is perfect speech per excellence - the perfection of communication. Nothing more need be said.

When perfect speech culminates in self-transcendence it also culminates in silence.

Nigel: silence :-)

Silence

Speech is not the only form of communication. Vajrayana has 3 methods of transmitting the teaching - verbal, through symbols & signs (e.g. the golden flower that the Buddha held up), and through the telepathic communication mind-to-mind within silence. 

Silence is not just absence of sound. When all sound dies away what is left is something alive, a living silence that vibrates with our emotion. E.g. Ramana Maharishi who died in 1949 exemplified this - he just sat, in the hall of the monastery, usually said nothing, the hall was usually full of people, there seemed to be a vibrant quality to that silence flowing from him - could feel it like a wave flowing over you calming your thoughts. Silence of this quality is only too rare...

Far too much noise, too many words without much meaning. Speech should be something exceptional - done after thought and preparation, and as an exception. "Macaulay is improving, he has flashes of silence". Let's make room in our lives for silence. 

Mitra study questions

• 1 Do you think it is ever appropriate to lie? If so, when? What might be the consequences for us of lying in these situations? 

White lies, occasionally. Over-sharing can also be a problem, sometimes. 'How are you?' 'fine'. At work: if information is too new it may not be appropriate to share too widely - better to wait until it is better understood.  

A while ago I praised people for behaviour I wanted to encourage although I hadn't particularly seen it yet. I think that can be legitimate, if other tactics are not available.

THIS ONE: Maisie - kind lie. PJ lying on her CV - then fessed up and was suspended for 3 months.

Lying to someone = insulting their intelligence.

Maybe the deceit works tolerably if it would be put right - e.g. a surprize party. Or maybe not. 

• 2 Give some examples of times when you have found it difficult to tell the truth and when telling the truth has had a positive effect. 

Talking to Sunetri and sharing how I received what she had to say - I didn't trust her because I thought she was speaking from a particular point of view, trying to do me down. She confinced me that was not the case - it was my fantasy. Very helpful! 

• 3 “Most of us, most of the time, do not speak the truth.” What do we make of this statement? In what ways might we not speak the truth most of the time? 

Not such a problem now, but in my last company it was the currency. Everything one said was a bit exaggerated, a bit embellished. For instance someone might say 'I told him X' and what they report is what they wish they had said, not what they actually said. I've had someone at my current company telling me what the big boss reported to him and I didn't believe him, because it sounded like wishful thinking on his part.     

Ellen: that's a bit harsh! Tries to be authentic, communicate from her being, not from a persona.

Laura: vulnerability. PJ: only can do this with someone who is responsive

• 4 “What really happens, most of the time, is that we are communicating ... with our own mental projections.” How might we move beyond this and into more affectionate speech? 

Really hard!! Have to change the way we think of the person & have to unwind our reactions to them. Did this a bit with my son when he was looking for a job - I had to stop looking on it as a disaster and him as incapable. Can't do it yet with my husband.

Laura: If active listening not trying to fix - then it would be OK. 

TRY thIS ONE

• 5 Is criticism ever appropriate? If so, in what circumstances? 

Very difficult - many years ago someone who had just been hired left after I criticised him. Perhaps factually explaining the needs of the people around can help people see what change in behaviour would be helpful. So no I'm not sure criticism is ever appropriate.

Done this one

• 6 “We should see the good, the bright, the positive side of things – not fasten our attention on the negative.” How might we do this more in the week ahead, especially in relation to people? And how might we be more helpful in our speech towards them?

Katherine: what if someone is really down? ellen also disagreed - dangerous to pushaway the -ve. Also sensitivity - harmony. Understanding 

A lot is about listening!

• 7 Identify some examples of useless speech that you engage in. How might they be transformed? 

There's a lot of it inside my head!

• 8 In terms of online communication, especially with regards to emails, online forums and social media, when do you tend to break the speech precepts? What could you do to be scrupulous in this area? 

It can be easy for me to answer in a utilitarian way and miss the emotion. For instance last Thursday I felt bitten by an email and when I answered it I passed the bite onto someone else, rather than answering in a way that worked for everyone.  

TRY THIS ONE

• 9 What is the difference between gossip and taking an interest in someone’s life? How might we be careful to know which we’re doing?

What is the aim? Am I airing my opinions?    ... metta...